Perusing the Internet can be informative and entertaining, as you know from this site, but it can also be mystifying, confusing and time-wasting, but the web possesses an inherent serendipity and you never know where chance will take you, never know if you might stumble upon something astonishing that could change your life.
With too much coffee inside me and little to do one afternoon, I surfed the billions of web sites and with serendipity found myself perusing web sites of saints and then discovering sites devoted to promoting people for sainthood. Most such promotional sites were, of course, connected to the Catholic religion in its various guises, but some also to Orthodox faiths. The Vatican's "Congregation for the Causes of Saints" has over 1,200 formal candidates moving toward official sainthood; at least as many more were striving to reach that first crucial step which is to be declared "Venerable." Searching and linking, I found hundreds of sites, some in known languages and some not, extolling saints-to-be.
Many had been martyred, killed by various totalitarian states (mostly communistic) for promoting or practicing their religious beliefs; many others had been native Americans, many of whom had also been martyred for bringing the benefits of Western Civilization to their tribes; also any person who founded an accepted religious order, no matter how insignificant, seemed destined for eventual sainthood. I found it rather puzzling. Why were some still cherished and championed by believers? Who was doing it? What motivates people to expend time, effort and emotion to such causes?
I can't say I found answers. However, I continued clicking and discovered innumerable sites touting sainthood for all sorts of people from the past, people I never would have expected. Several sites championed Spain's Queen Isabella, she who sent Columbus and the Faith to America. A few promoted Francisco Franco, to them, the savior of modern Spain. Some espoused Princess Di, even though she wasn't of the Faiths, and scores sang the praises of Mother Theresa. Advocates of Robert and especially John Kennedy, the American martyrs, abounded in the digital world.
Innumerable sites extolled sainthood for Pope John XXIII and Pius XII, for Cardinal O'Connor and Archbishop Romero, for Martin Luther King and Gandhi, C. K. Chesterton and Edith Stein, and even for Evita Peron, but imagine my surprise when I found sites recommending Ayn Rand for sainthood. The first site I found was the home of the Randian Objectivistic Brotherhood which claimed, in large type, to be, "The one and only true and devout web site dedicated to the elevation of Saint Ayn." I found it to be verbose, uncreative and dull, in other words, a typical web site, yet certainly not without interest. A handful of buttons along the left margin led to various eye- and mind-numbing pages, all of which featured dense rows of black serif letters against a stark white background stretching downward in an endless column.
The only relief from this clottedly dense plethora of words were occasional pictures of members of the Brotherhood who added further column inches of personal comment. Looking at their pictures, it is difficult to tell if the Brotherhood practices a modern form of tonsure or if they are all simply balding white guys. One button led to an explanation of the Order and an accompanying photo of a Deacon John. Centered in New York City, the Order has (or intends to have) chapters in every urban financial center.
The Brotherhood's motto is "Do Good For Yourself." Every few screens a phrase or two in the verbiage ad infinitum would register. As Deacon John explained, "Our Order is contemplative but certainly not mendicant. We share gourmet meals as well as study and contemplation in comfortable surroundings. . . We are dedicated to the words and wisdom of Ayn Rand. Her blessed ideas and ideals fire us, her apostles, to spread her understanding. . . . Hers are the greatest writings in human history, save perhaps for the Bible. . . . Every word, every phrase, every punctuation is perfect; truly divinely inspired writing. . . . You will find us where there is money, for money is rational and rationality, power. . . . Spreading the word of blessed Ayn and the further revelations of our inspired Abbot Leo. . . . We are the elect, the rational soldiers of Saint Ayn. . . . Our membership is open to anyone touched by Her reasoned inspiration." But he adds, "Not everyone is ready for Her knowledge."
Another button led to the basic tenets of the Order as set forth by the founder and leader, Abbot Leo (absent a photo). According to his nearly endless treatise, the Brotherhood began shortly after Ayn's death when sects split from this one true vision of Ayn's wisdom: "Human beings need fundamental ideas to organize their lives around and they need to believe in them strongly, and that is why it became obvious to move our blessed Ayn toward sainthood. We understand the truth and our value-judgment leads us to promote her . . . . She is obviously beyond mere humanness . . . . She discovered true ideas on a virtually unprecedented scale . . . . She has left us to actualize Her words and promote the glorious effects of Her knowledge. . . . Only by rationally accepting the obvious can we progress." "One touchstone for determining Sainthood has always been the charisma of the saintly person to attract and inspire followers who recognize a holy person's aura of sanctity. . . . The Brotherhood is living proof of Her charisma. . . . When our inspired and tireless efforts finally achieve Her deserved sainthood, our Order will be recognized as the true repository of Saint Ayn's wisdom and then anyone who refuses to acknowledge this fact will truly and deservedly be declared heretic. . . . The other, obviously heretical sects also promoting her sainthood are to be ignored, nay, counteracted, especially that spawn of Satan, that scourge of second- handers, the Randian Objectified Brotherhood."
Another button led me to daily life in the Order and the guidance of a youthful and very earnest looking Brother Howard: "Blessed Ayn is so above we mere mortals that there is a tendency to view Her as God, but according to beloved Abbot Leo, accepting Her as simply a saint emphasizes Her important connection with humanity. . . . We have more than a mere belief in Her wisdom, we know it to be true." When individuals, "novices" join the Brotherhood, they "invest" their personal funds in the Order; the wisdom and understanding that they gain will lead to the reaping of fabulous rewards later. Brother Howard adds that, "Since Ayn teaches us that there is charity in the hearts of free human beings, our fabulous personal rewards will ultimately reward all of society."
Besides working regular jobs and handing their pay to the Deacons, the Brothers live individual lives under the Order's large roof; each has a bed, closet space, drawer, chair, meditation and chanting mat, and personal clothing. They are not a cult, but rather a rational Brotherhood. "We study Her works together and sometimes we are rewarded with individual experiences of listening to one of Abbot Leo's inspired audio tapes and afterwards a Deacon to help one understand. . . . We do not discuss, we learn." "We chant together, in unison, and experience the spirituality of rationality by vocalizing as one.
My favorite chant is, 'We are all individuals. We are all individuals. We are all individuals.' After an hour or so of this inspirational chanting, I feel aroused, ready and determined to one day build a righteous Galt's Gulch." "Over time we learn individual independence and how to think for ourselves; we gain confidence in our mental capacity to make decision and are no longer intimidated by the opinions of others. . . . "The wisdom of Blessed Ayn and the clarifications of Abbot Leo teach us how to think, so that on that day when we are eventually able to think for ourselves, we know we will arrive at the correct decisions. . . . We gain an enlightened spiritual and psycho- epistemology."
Eventually I found their list of miracles, a requirement for any hopeful saint, and they were generally banal and stock market driven. Members of the Order who bought Microsoft early, other members who liquidated tech stocks in early 2000, all because of Ayn's direct inspiration. There were also a few cases of asthma cured, eczema cleared up, ugly warts gone. And one interesting miracle of an Islamic mullah, after reading a few mere lines of her writing, shaved his beard and entered law school.
To me, the most interesting miracle was that of a Bert H. from San Leandro, California. Bert was a telemarketer-in-training and failing at it. He participated in a Brotherhood's weekend workshop and continued to study Ayn's works. On the last day of his probationary period, a period in which he had made zero sales, and on one of the final calls of his final day, Bert H. had a revelation: "She was there, on my VDT. Beloved Ayn, talking to me, like a streaming video and she said to me, 'Bert,' she called me by my name, 'Bert,' she said - not again, it was only the one time she said my name, but then she also said, 'One must perceive reality as it is, not invent or create it.' And in that instant my life changed. I told the couple I had on the phone that the free trip to Orlando wasn't really free at all, that expensive fees would be added to their credit card and that they'd never have a chance to golf or go to Disney World or anything until they purchased a time-share condo. I felt wonderful as the honest words poured forth. Then the miracle happened - they bought a time-share right over the phone. Nothing had ever happened like that in all the months the telemarketers had been in operation. Soon I became a legend and their leading salesperson and I owe it all to Blessed Ayn."
One final button leads onto the Path to the Randian Brotherhood, where their various workshops are promoted, where Abbot Leo's many tapes are sold as well as his "reauthorized" versions of Ayn's writings. We are often urged to "Do Good For Yourself" by learning more about the Brotherhood, and nearly as often warned against other, unorthodox sources of her thoughts. We are especially warned against visiting blasphemous and erroneous web sites. One such site is undoubtedly that of St. Ayn & Co, which uses flashy and moving graphics and even contains banner ads. It is slick and fun and almost certainly heretical to the Brotherhood.
Father Sarducci himself appears in a tiny box of streaming video. He is middle-aged, swarthy, with thick dark hair and intense dark eyes, and spoke: "We are lucky that there is no other saint named Ayn and, believe me, that is a big plus. If her name had been Mary, forget about it. But there's always room for a new saint's name."
St. Ayn should be the patron saint of free-market Capitalism, the site argues. "Who would be better? April 15th could be a fitting saint's day; she could also be the patron saint of tax-payers who would call upon Her for help in their time of need. Her shrines and holy places will be in New York City, the world's greatest city and the great engine of Capitalism. And also appropriately the base of St. Ayn & Co."
"America needs more saints," he continued. "And New York can use all the holiness it can get. Some nice new shrines would certainly further uplift its urban image and we happen to hold long term leases on properties perfect for shrine sites." "St. Ayn & Co offers a fitting capitalistic investment opportunity to participate in spreading Her principles while making a profit." The streaming video ends, replaced by words scrolling majestically up screen: "Her life promoted improvements in individuals as well as in society. She accepted and blessed mankind's truest motives - ambition and avarice, which together created the incredibly rich world which we inhabit. . . ."
Can Mother Theresa claim that? Can anyone? "But money is needed to finance the good works ahead. Sainthood will require over two million dollars and at least double that for the construction of suitable shrines. "The rewards will be not only spiritual but financial. Such shrines generate solid, steady revenue while spreading the very good words of Ayn Rand. This will lead to an increase in sales of her books, companion tapes as well as relics and souvenirs. (The web site offers all of her books as well as tapes and souvenirs for sale, including an 'I Visited the St. Ayn & Co web site and all I got was this crummy t- shirt' all-cotton t-shirt.) "Other sources of revenue would include selling rights to attach the name, St. Ayn, to businesses. . . . Miraculous cures would also be obtainable at reasonable cost - providing courage to the cowardly, business sense to the gullible, sanity to the mentally confused."
St. Ayn & Co presently operate a small shrine in the very same block of 36th Street in New York City in which Ayn did much of Her finest work. Located in the rear of Guido's, an excellent Italian deli, St. Ayn's shrine, though presently humble, stands, along with this web site, as the first steps toward the realization of her sainthood. The video image of Father Sarducci returns once again to give us a toll-free number to call for a free prospectus.
The final web site I found was the simplest yet also the most elegant and most succinct. There are no buttons, no links, no streaming video; only one rather short home page proclaiming the "Ayn Rand Society Encouraging Sainthood" headed by a Monsignor Walker. We learn that at the end of the Millennium, the Catholic Church in America made a list of the people most influential in converting people or in returning lapsed believers to Catholicism. Monsignor Walker writes that he had been amazed to find the third most instrumental person, after Mother Theresa and Pope John Paul II, to have been Ayn Rand. "Did she not, like Christ, firmly reject the initiation of force? Is not the 'invisible hand' which she saw presiding over society but another name for the 'hand of God?' Did she not live a life devoted to her devoutly held principles and did she not demand such devotion from her followers? Was she not passionately moralistic? Yes to all."
Other Works by T.E. Ruppenthal
from The Laissez Faire City Times, Vol 6, No 7, February 18, 2002